Before the Monday snowstorm, I was able to get out into the neighborhood on Sunday, and meet up with some cat friends! Wonder what their humans think about me, as I wave at and prattle on to their cats...even one in the window! Hmmm...
And, I hate to type this...but Angel is NOT getting along with Manny and Chili Bruce. We are no longer going to try to integrate them; each will have some of the house during the day, then switch for the balance.
My heart is broken over this as there was a horrible fracas this morning that just freaked everyone out; the cats were on either side of a closed, locked door. I feel that am the worst cat mom AND wife on the planet today. Words of rehoming were spoken...and then I left for the office, crying my eyes out.
please don't blame yourself!!! I never had more than one cat at a time so I am no one to offer advice. I am thinking that Angel resents them because she is still grieving over Chuck. Then, not just one new cat came in but...TWO.....she is probably still grieving and resentful. I would suggest talking to those with multiple cat experience (Brians Dad Terry is a good one).....and many others. Hoping things settle down.
ReplyDeleteOf course I blame myself, since I'm the one who fell for Da Boyz perhaps too soon after Chuck's passing. But they are too adorable, and The Hubby loves them. He loves Angel too, but is so dismayed at her reaction. That's the crux of the matter. Thanks, Caren.
DeleteOh dear me I'm so sorry. My brother in law adopted Madi's sister at the same time we adopted Madi. When we got them they were snuggled and grooming each other in the same age. 3 weeks later he had to go out of town so we brought Lucy to our house. LET ME JUST SAY spit and fur was flying and the sisters had no idea they were related. We try to keep Lucy here but clearly it was Madi's house and she wasn't sharing. So I took Lucy home and went back and forth each day to feed her and play with her. I have only had one cat at a time so I'm with Caren but I have heard it takes lots of time.
ReplyDeleteHugs Madi's Mom
Oh my, what a story! Once Angel and Chuck grew up, they had very little use for each other. Maybe it was all Angel's doing, which I never thought of before. We will give it more time, for sure. Thank you.
Deleteoh no - we are so sorry things are going smoothly. we do hope that you will give it time. we always suggest take two steps back when this happens and restart introductions. feed on opposite sides of a door. and maybe try some feliway or rescue remedy for pets
ReplyDeleteWe have Feliway diffusers, and we've fed on either side of the door for weeks. We'll give it a break, then slowly work at it again. I appreciate your comments!
DeleteThere is nothing you can do if two cats really, really dislike each other! Sometimes it's better to just keep the peace in any way you can, and just leave it at that. Also, what Caren said.
ReplyDeleteAngel chases off Patty O'Malley, or rather she thinks she does...he just goes so far, then flops down on the ground again. She gave Chucky heck anytime he'd come home from the vet's too! Angel is a tough bird! Thanks for commenting.
DeletePlease don't feel like a bad cat mom! One of our cats really dislikes Woodrow (our foster failure) and we've heard some noises come out of her that I'd never heard before! We're still trying to figure things out and he's been in the house since June. Sending hugs!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard because I'm gone all day during the week, so the bulk of this falls on The Hubby. We'll give it more time, and thanks.
Deleteguyz...itz knot momz fault ore any oh yurz....sum catz just knead ther "space"...me & sauce never getted a long....and angel kneadz sum time yet....rite now itz kinda like one against two...pleez ask ellen at 15 & meowing how her handles her crew...seer ee iz lee ~~~~♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteThank you for understanding; I really appreciate it!
DeleteI am so sorry you are having integration issues. backing off and separating seems like the next logical step and hopefully a little time apart and getting the house to smell like all of them will help if you decide to try again.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I need to start creative visualization, to help guide Angel to where we need her to be! Cannot hurt, right? Thank you!
DeleteOh no. We're so sorry. But maybe, with more time... In cat terms it really hasn't been that long.
ReplyDeleteThe agreement was to give it a long, long time...but that fight but someone's nerves on edge when he least expected it. Thanks!
DeleteDon't beat yourself up ! i agree with - more time, re-introducing (I assume you've done the scent-swapping but try it using a piece of your old clothing to gather the cats scent. Plus two rambunctious young kits would naturally agitate an older cat - especially one in mourning.
ReplyDeleteI have a rescue that I;m sure has PTSD from whatever she went through before I got her - after 3 days up a tree 5 years ago - including a day of blizzard conditions. There are still amazing noises and occasional rows,but no severe damage. Please give yourself and them a bit more time.
Yes, two youngsters up in an old lady's face will get her yeowling! Then, it becomes a game. Thank you!
DeleteYou are a wonderful cat Mom so don't give up. You'll figure out a way to make it work, really you will. The Boys are depending on you and so is Angel.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for your advice; I'm not ready to give up.
DeleteAs I can attest, it doesn't always work out...and sometimes you do what you have to do to make life peaceful. If that means separate quarters, then that's what it takes. But don't give up on the introducing. You just have to go back a step or two and start all over again. Frustrating, I know. ~Island Cat Mom
ReplyDeleteYes, a set-back. Such drama! Thanks for your support!
DeleteOh NO!!! Purrlease don't feel that way 'bout yourself. Nopawdy's purrfect and us kitties can fur sure be finicky. One just never knows what we're gonna like or who. We're sendin' hugs and purrayers. Now, dry your tears and 'purreciate all the luv you're gettin' and the lives you saved. Big hugs
ReplyDeleteLuv ya'
Dezi and Raena
I can feel your hugs...thanks!
DeleteI'm so sorry you're having trouble :( I've never had more than one cat at a time either but I know how hard you'll work to make everyone happy. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the thumbs up!
DeleteNo need to rehome or feel bad. Kitties are difficult to integrate. You could try a reintroduction. Also, if Angle doesn't feel safe, maybe you need some higher spots for her to hide. We have several ones in our house because there is no way all 12 would get along.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you, I was thinking about rehoming humans before I rehome a cat! We'll keep them separated for a week or two, then decide a course of action. I've got to get The Hubby believing that Angel isnt' doing this to make him mad! Thanks!
DeleteOh, you aren't, believe us (and everyone else). We like 15 and Meowing's suggestion of higher places for Angel to hide, or more of them. We also thought maybe a (certified) cat behaviorist might be able to help with the boys. In any case, rehoming would make everybody very sad. Hang in there. (And Mom wants you to know that she still sometimes uses a squirt gun to stop Ivan from harassing Caroline--and most of the time, all she has to do is show it to him and he runs.)
ReplyDeleteWe have high places to go, but Angel doesn't use them...never really has. I know a cat behaviorist to contact, and will do that in awhile when we've kept them all separate for a long time. Do you feel that Caroline eggs the boys on, by her posture and demeanor? I think Angel does this...maybe she staring at them?
DeleteWipe away those tears. Things will work themselves. Sometimes it just takes a new day. My kitty neighbors have always lived together and never get along, but they have come to an agreement. One rules outside, one rules inside. Tee hee hee.
ReplyDeleteWe are hoping for peace; we do not expect snugglebunnies! Thank you very much.
DeleteI am so sorry you and they too, really, are going through this.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteIt's really tough and it is absolutely not your fault. Even with my lot, who grew up together and have been living together for years, there is the occasional fracas and screaming. They eventually calm down and life goes on, until the next time.
ReplyDeleteAngel and Chuck have known each other since in utero, and they still had squabbles. The Hubby just isn't used to the blood-curdling meows, and it rocked his world...and mine. Thanks!
DeletePlease don't give up. It all takes time. They will adjust eventually. They just have to all find their very own safe and special place. Sometimes, it is a cat tree, sometimes it is under a bed, and sometimes it is just in a separate room.. You are not a horrible Mom, this is just what happens at times. Take a deep breath and just give it all some time.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Marg. I have a second human who isn't adapting well, and he's my main problem!
DeleteHave you tried Feliway? (My two cats tolerate each other at best.) I wonder if periodically letting only one out with Angel will change her attitude toward them?
ReplyDeleteTerri, not a bad idea...one at a time...hmmm. Yes, we've got Feliway diffusers too. Thanks!
DeleteDon't give up yet! As you know, we've had Lucy 13 months and Sadie still hates her, but we've made some progress. First, has Angel had a vet visit lately? Sadie had some bad dental issues and after that was taken care of, she became a much happier cat and came out of hiding. Second, I really like Feliway diffusers. We still have one going. You aren't a horrible mom. Keep trying--sometimes it takes many months.
ReplyDeleteAngel saw vet a month ago; she's good. 3 Feliway diffusers, all in the critical areas of cat occupation. Thanks for the pep talk!
DeleteHey don't give up! Just wait, sometimes it can take a few weeks before cats will become friends! When I was adding Misio to my cat team we were socializing them for around 4 weeks until they stopped fighting. And we had to wait another one month for love between them all.
ReplyDeleteOf course sometimes there is no option to add new cat, but these are rare cases. I had this problem once, when I was a temporary home for the 'only-child-cat'. But please, take a time, maybe it will end well!