Wednesday, February 5, 2020

What Are You Waiting For?

by Dr. Mel Newton

Here is a portion of the blog post:

"Here’s the thing. 

Most people wait too long. 

Concerned with cutting a life short unnecessarily, or guilt-wracked with should-of’s and could’ves, they hang on to their pet’s continued existence as proof that this is not a convenience euthanasia.

But, we need to remember that animal cares nothing for our intentions, or whether there is some small hope of a better future. An animal lives in the present. Any decision to prolong suffering should be because there is a significant hope that a life that can be well-lived on the other side of that suffering. 

So, let’s set aside the guilt, sadness, and all those other complicated human emotions that are important and real, but don’t matter to the animal in front of us. 

When is it time? 

Let me ask you another question. 

What are you waiting for?"

I read this post just before The Hubby and I decided that Angel had had enough.
And each one of us pet-loving humans is different, and must rely on our own circumstance to make this decision.

As much as my heart still aches with longing to hear Angel's meow again, setting her free was what we felt that we needed to do.

Read Dr. Newton's post; you'll gain insight, I know that you will!

*AND*

Small Tales Blog published a lovely post about our Angel, read it here:

It made me cry, and that's a good thing!

πŸ’”πŸ˜ΏπŸ’”


38 comments:

  1. I agree that suffering isn't a good thing. I think our babies tell us when they have had enough. Our Little Bit did and we listened.

    Have a purrfect day. My best to your smart peeps. ♥

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    1. And the vet cannot give us a definitive answer to 'when'...we are the pet parent; we know. I am sorry that you lost Little Bit.

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  2. Our mom totally agrees. She waited too long on two of her fur kids. Not because she was in denial, but because the vet couldn’t figure out why Nick and Cookie were so sick. Turns out it was black mold in house air vents. Saying goodbye before fur is suffering is the hardest and yet greatest gift our caregivers can give us.

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    1. It's so hard, that's why I though this vet had a really good concept. Once we take ourselves out of the equation, the answers are clear. Purrs to your mom for her missing babies.

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  3. I feel this so hard. With Leia it was simple; just nothing more to do.

    Toby was harder, and I still struggle with guilt. He had a blockage the vet didn't think meds would cure. I couldn't afford surgery but that wasn't the deciding factor. He'd had health problems for years and just didn't seem happy. He hated the vet, he'd been so many times.

    I honestly do not believe in wringing every last miserable moment of life from a pet who is ill. So I made my choices.

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    1. I truly thought it would be easier with Angel, since two years ago we lost Chuck...but they weren't the same, and Angel's illness went from bad to worse very quickly. Once we'd stepped back, the path became clearer. Purrs to you for Leia and Toby.

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  4. It will be tough but we'll have to read that in spite of the sad topic and we've waited too long too. We read the lovely post over Small Tales, it made us cry.

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    1. My sister says she will never again have a pet, once her dog is gone, because the pain is too much. But the love is far greater; we learn. I didn't want this to be a sad post, but rather a acknowledgement of we all will go through someday. Hugs to you for your loses.

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  6. I think I speak for all who love their pets when I say we adopted them to shower them with TLC and all things good. We have always promised each that when the time comes we will love them enough to put their needs before ours..
    Hugs Cecilia

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    1. But we often waver when the future looks bleak; the vet's words help cut through that momentary hesitation for me.

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    1. To me also; it made so much sense that I was ashamed that I'd let my thinking get so clowded.

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  8. shame on me for not remembering who said this when we were at catster;

    "don't let their worst day, be your last memory "

    I will head over to small tales; I follow them; I think I missed this post. whoever writes for pocket and river song is EXTREMELY talented.

    ♥♥♥♥♥

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    1. That's an excellent quote!
      I agree, Small Tales is excellent!

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  9. I had to let my beautiful Suzy go back in 98 when she was just 13 because she was suffering so much. She looked me in the eye and told me it was time. I know I will see her again one day,

    Marie xx

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  10. It's definitely a personal decision...and not an easy one to make.

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    1. It's very difficult, which is why this vet's post gave me a lot to think about.

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  11. Sweet Lil Angel. ....Im sorry.
    My friend and her family are thinking Monday is the day for their dog that is collapsing on walks. IT will be hard.
    I sent them the article !THANK YOU

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    1. Although we cannot really know how our pets think, this information leads one to think in a expanded way, imho. I am sorry for your friends.

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  12. That's very profound. I know I've been guilty of waiting far too long.

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    1. A dear friend wrote, Termination it is one of life's agonizing paradoxes. It's the wrongest thing to do, but it's the only right thing to do. This is the price we pay for all the joy they give us."

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  13. I waited too long for Admiral. It's done and I cannot take it back nor grieve deeply over waiting again, as the Vet would never answer my questions about her state. I finally added it up and realized her quality of life was nil and mine too. So the horrible pain ensued. I will not have another after Katie leaves me. It is the loss of family every time and we know what that is like. I read that from Small Tales when it first published the other day and it had me in tears...of course.

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    1. I am so sorry for the loss of Angel Admiral. We want to give only life and love; the end is like stepping off a cliff edge.

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  14. Angel's post is beautiful. I am going to skip the other one for now , I don't think I can handle it. Although, we were blessed on the last 3 cats going on their own, but I know we should have let Millie go before that. XO

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    1. I am so very sorry for your losses, and all so close together. Each time, it's a different everything, which is why this vet's words meant a lot to me.

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  15. I once waited too long. It was for me, not for her. I've never forgotten that. I wish it had not happened. It will not be repeated ... we read Small Tales already, beautifully written, caring, loving.

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    1. We live and learn. This vet's words seemed to come across loud and clear. I am sorry for your loss.

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  16. We are glad you liked the blog. We don't like making eyes leak but sometimes it helps you feel better. God bless.

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    1. Your post was amazing; thank you so much for honoring our sweet girl.

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  17. Binga was the one cat that went at just the exact right time. Like literally not a moment too soon or too late. I don't know how she managed to do that. We kitties should all be so lucky.

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  18. It's the most difficult decision parents of fur babies have to make. We must be very brave and fight our emotions. We may end up suffering from the guilt, regret, etc...but it's much better than letting them suffer. Hugs xo

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  19. We had a vet come to the house for Mr Buttons and felt we had waited a little too long. Just a day or so. This is such an important post thank you so much

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  20. Really good and necessary advice. It is such a horrible decision to make, nevertheless, it has to be done.

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  21. The hubby and I have things to consider with our senior pup right now. Eddie's not at that point yet, but we know it will be a decision we will likely have to make in the coming year. So this post is very timely and definitely helpful.

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  22. It's really hard to let our beloved animal go. But sometimes we need to make this decision to save him/her suffering.

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Mee-row! Thanks for your comments; we LURV them! Purrr....