Yesterday, The Hubby mentioned that our house looks a bit shabby, should we have any guests over, due to the puppy pee pads pinned up around litter boxes. I did that when Chuck was standing up while urinating, due to his bowel issues.
So, I cry. We have only the detritus of his existence, but no Chuck. Yes, Da Boyz are a handful, and Angel is beginning to find her place as big sister in the new Eastside Cats order.
But the pain underlies the joy, the busy-ness, the play, the feeding, cleaning, loving, and purring...plus keeping my eye on The 'O' Cats, now that it's gotten cold. We continue to observe bardo for Chuck's death, honoring his memory and his life. Having two Chuck look-alikes is interesting, yet neither mimic his personality in the slightest.
The puppy pee pads remain.
And so, I wait, with love.
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| Prisma Image of Chuck |
The pain can be unbearable at times, can't it? Truffles is the first cat I ever had cremated and it took a few weeks. When I went to pick them up at the ER vet where I had last been on the night I lost her, I walked in trying to be strong. When I told the lady at the front desk that I was there to pick up my cat's ashes it came out at such a whisper that she couldn't even understand me. I just lost it.
ReplyDeleteYes, it took two weeks for Mom to get the remains of her white kitty. Then the people almost gave her the wrong urn & had to track down the right one, but luckily found it quickly or I think Mom would've broke down in front of them. Hugs for you & your family.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. We never are ready to let a furbaby go - and it never really gets any better - life just kind of grows around the hole in our hearts. I remember how hard it was emotionally to have to hold Kitty up in the litter box. She wasn't a snuggly kitty - so I knew she must've been really bad off to tolerate my help. Don't worry about how your house looks - anyone with an ounce of sense will see its appearance as a sign that you love your kitties dearly.
ReplyDeleteWe understand the difficulty, it hurts, we know. Hugs from all of us.
ReplyDeleteV;
ReplyDeleteit's going to take time; and some days will be good and others are just plain going to suck..
and a year from now you might have a bunch of smiles remebering chuck, and three years from now you might cry again...just because
sadly, you have to go through it; to get past it; so cry all you want; coz...it's OK to do so...
you have to handle it in YOUR own way and in YOUR own time ~~~~~~~ ♥♥♥ and dont let anyone tell ya any different ♥♥♥
L
Loss, and its aftermath, is never easy. Especially at the holidays. Take all the time you need to get through this.
ReplyDeleteSo sad, so sweet. Sending you lots of love and hugs. (We have puppy pads up, too!)
ReplyDeleteChuck is always with you. Maybe not physically...but his spirit is there.
ReplyDeleteI hope that when Chuck finally returns to you, you will begin to feel some comfort with his passage. I know having all my kids with me after they've gone allowed me much peace.
ReplyDeleteNo kitty could ever be exactly like your sweet boy even if they look the same. Sending you hugs and love. I understand leaving up the puppy pads. I left Phoebe's fluid bag hanging in the bedroom for 2months.
ReplyDeleteso many of us can remember just how hard that is (((hugs))) catchatwithcarenandcody
ReplyDeleteI hope your sweet Chuck will return to you soon...sending hugs and warm thoughts your way. I understand your pain. xo
ReplyDelete(dad here)- I feel your pain. I can still remember vividly the day mom and I went to pick up dear old Orbit's ashes. W could not keep our eyes dry, and I even choked up a little just now thinking of him. Cleo, mom and I send our prayers to you that it'll get a little easier day by day. Take it easy.
ReplyDeleteEven though Manny and Chili take up another space in your heart, they'll never completely fill that void left by Chucky. Hugs. <3
ReplyDeleteThe process of losing a pet never felt "complete" to me until I had their remains. The process of adjusting to the new daily routine takes longer.
ReplyDeleteI admit that I wasn't ready when Tucker's ashes were done (within a week). It seemed like it would be "final" if I picked them up. But, everyone is different, and I hope that you can get Chuck's remains soon to fill a small part of your heart.
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